It puts the lotion in the basket…
Hey guys how are you? It’s Sunday. I can be completely honest and say that I have done absolutely nothing all weekend. I had to see a dermatologist this week and he gave me Retin A for my face. I’ve had snake face for like 3 days. It’s kind of gross. My skin is so tight. I feel like I got a face lift. It also was burning for like 2 days. It felt like I had a horrible sunburn on my face. It feels like today it’s improved a little. I’ve been soaking my face in jojoba oil. I have also been using a vitamin a,e and d cream cleanser. The first day my face would burn with any cleanser on it. But, today it seemed out. I can say that I love jojoba oil though. It may be my new moisturizer. Since Friday I stayed in and watched every episode of True Blood season 2 on demand. I didn’t have cable at my old place. So I missed every episode. I did however catch every episode of True Blood season 1 last year because I had cable at my old place in Michigan. Season 2 got really stupid with that Mary Anne orgy lady. But, the parts with the vampires was sweet. I have this amazing crush on Godric and Eric.
LOVE YOU! XOXOX
I woke up today at 1 pm. Honestly, I can’t even remember the last time I slept that late. Maybe when I was coming off of drugs. I did a lot of things I never used to do when I came off of drugs. I have to go back to work tomorrow and I still feel like I have more things to do and I need a longer weekend. I don’t know what I would do without work. I feel exhausted. My face hurts. I’m glad it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did yesterday. I was video chatting with my friend Daniel yesterday and I had to keep putting a cold wet wash cloth on my face that I had put in the refrigerator. Last night around midnight my friend Joshua called me and asked me to come over. I thought something was wrong. I have a close relationship with Joshua I love him more than any man I know. I rushed over to his house in pajamas at midnight. He was so drunk. I have never seen anyone that drunk before. He babbled to me about things that made no sense. He told me that he can’t take me seriously but that he loves me more than anyone he knows. I wanted so badly to spill out all of my emotions towards him. Unfortunately for me I am better at hiding my feelings then showing them. I can thank my family for that because I was always told its unbecoming of me to cry and show a man how I feel. I sat there and held him in my arms while he babbled. Ahhhh alcohol. People wonder why I never drink. I already have ENOUGH rumors going on about how nuts I am I don’t need to do stuff without remembering.
Aidan seems to be wandering around my house staring at things. He seems lethargic today. I’d really like to get him a friend. But, I know I cannot afford one. It would be foolish of me to do that. I feel so bad for him. He looks lonely. Ever since we left Tiny William in Detroit he has lacked his certain pizazz he used to have.
Today, Sunday, I was supposed to go on a date with this boy from Okcupid. He was really adorable. His smile seemed like one of those smiles that could light up a room. In his photos I could see he had very kind eyes. Last night at like 3 am he randomly signed on. I teasingly said to him, “Hey why are you up?” in so many words. He proceeded to unleash an emotional bukkake of despair telling me that he didn’t want to spend the whole day with me and that he’s afraid because I used to be in porn and because I have some stalker bitch who does anything to get my attention. Which for the record we were talking about something with stalkers and 4chan and I told him about her. Which is like whatever it was funny to me not like traumatizing. He kind of freaked out and since I really didn’t want to deal with another man in my life that I let in and then tells me because I made a few pornos it scares the shit out of them I just shut my computer and walked away. It’s like … Who the fuck do you think you are judging me? I have a perfectly normal life just like any of you. I work. I come home. I play with my cat. I go to the gym. Hey, I even get my car fixed on my day off of work. I see a dermatologist just like a normal person. I eat dinner at my kitchen table. I can cook. WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUCKING WRONG WITH ME. I wish I could throw my head into a wall. I am so frustrated with men. I’m not even looking for anything I just want to meet someone. Even if they are a friend. I don’t care. This is not me reaching out to any of you asking you to write me countless emails proposing we go on dates or be friends. I can assure you that will never happen. This is me venting. Anyways, I’m going to get going. I need to stop ranting. I haven’t taken any photos of my snake face sorry. Soon though.
Love you xoxox,
Charlie Sheena
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hey kiddo, check out hung since you have hbo on demand. if nothing else you’ll get some chuckles out of the opening credits, but the show is actually really good
Oh I’ve seen it. I watched it with my friend Peter. It’s good.
my friend brad (door guy from the hall)’s car is getting filled up in the credits, though he didn’t get used as an extra. also funny to see coney + the fox in the credits
wait, you’re done making porn?
I know it makes me miss home. I miss coney island and I miss white castle. I miss faygo. :(
I never said that!
Madison, regardless of what you may think or feel, when you entered porn, you crossed a line that will always carry a stigmatism. That “is what’s wrong with you.” It’s nothing personal (your personality or your looks), but very few outside the “biz” want to be associated with someone in porn. Guys want to fuck pornstars, but they don’t want to marry/date them. That’s just how it is and you obviously see that everyday.
Max,
I beg to differ. Only an insecure man would even care about something so minuscule like that. I know tons of guys who want to be with me but the problem is I do not want to settle for anything less than what is the best in my standards. Thank you. That is all.
MM
EVERY person (even “vanillas”) has secret *interests* (i.e. Luvs the idea of going on a date with an exotic actress). Yet most vanillas & closeted kinksters / fetishists are afraid to “come out of the closet” with this side of him / herself & uses immature excuses from fear of getting serious. i honestly do NOT believe this means there’s “something wrong with You,” it’s just insecurity with these judgmental “boys” unleashing “an emotional bukkake of despair.”
So You did a lil porn- BFD. So did Paris Hilton. But what makes You BETTER than Paris is You’re self-supportive, not getting a filthy rich lifestyle handed on a silver platter. Plus- You were smart by getting PAID to ACT in these films.
A real Gentleman would NOT treat You with such immaturity & disrespect, so Your being frustrated with “boys” is actually quite NORMAL for a “modern” young lady. Unfortunately so is Your over-reacting by saying You really didn’t want to let in & “deal with another boy” in Your completely NORMAL life. Going through this normal crap with boys is to be expected.
So take a chill, babe & stop taking this crap so PERSONALLY. Now You have to learn how to separate the Gentlemen from the “boys,” which requires (G-d forbid) willingness to “settle” by lowering some of Your (unrealistic) “best” in standards (especially in a recession). Doing this will assist You to develop genuine friendships & relationships with Gentlemen.
Huggies!
napper
I agree with Max.
There are three categories guys fit girls into:
1) Ugly girls: those go in the dust bin.
2) Girls they want to fuck: obvious
3) Girls they want to marry: good girls they don’t mind showing their Mama.
When you go into Porn, you are basically closing yourself off to 99% of normal guys. So now you’re basically delegated to the 1% who are into kink and who are more “open-minded”.
This is why most girls in porn end up marrying other guys in porn. Or you can probably marry some guy who directs porn, or has something to do with the adult industry, but I’m willing to bet 99% of guys you will meet who are not in porn, once they find out you were in porn, will be turned off, and will take you out of the “long term relationship” category.
Didn’t you think think about that before you got in the “industry”?
I think you are absolutely incorrect. But, I guess this is something that time will only tell. We will see. :)
you really attract some morons to this site. this jj guy seems to be completely out of touch with reality. must be nice to live in a little black and white bubble like that.
I think what JackBrown is really trying to say is that he would like to get in your pants, Madison.
xoxo(gossip girl)