I know I was talking all about the new guy in my office previously. Considering how much he actually shits up my nerves I might as well continue that conversation now. Here’s the thing… I think he means to be nice. Nevertheless, the problem is he’s so fucking obnoxious and annoying it just cancels it all out. He has to redo everything anyone does because he seems to think he’s the only one who knows how to do anything. The only existing problem with that is he’s a god damn moron so that cancels that out.

The other day he decided to join in on a conversation in the office that no one was even involving him in between Cameron (my homey.) and I. Cam said to me something about her computer not working properly. (That’s probably because no one has put virus protection on the computers and everyone in the damn office downloads stupid bullshit and 100 million toolbars and then I get to fix it later.) I told Cam that I would take a look at it in a minute but I was in the middle of doing sketchy things on the internet related to my job. Asshole decides he is some kind of computer technician and he comes over to Cam’s computer while she’s up in the restroom and opens the task manager. He said…”I can fix this.” I watch him toggle between tabs on the task manager and he stares at the CPU usage. At this point I am just sitting in my desk with my eyes wide open being even more critical than I usually am. (You know that’s bad because I’m kind of a critical cunt. I have high standards for everyone not only myself.)

(As I was typing that last sentence he emerged from his seat to stretch and make annoying noises like those that he always does. I have head phones on right now because if I take them off he will try to talk to me. I cannot have that.)

Anyway, so he closed the task manager and just sat back down and said nothing. I said in a completely condescending manner, “Did you fix it…?” Obviously I knew damn well he didn’t fix anything and he didn’t even know what he was looking at… He responded, “No, I need (something totally random and really not even needed to fix anything here.”

He’s so fucking full of shit. He has to challenge anything that anyone does. He has to be better at everything than anyone is. It’s the most ridiculous and cantankerous behavior I’ve ever laid eyes on.

I believe the most annoying thing he does in the office is when someone calls him in the back on his phone and asks for a code to activate the MLS. He will read the code in Spanish. Seriously, mother fucker? No one understands your polish/Russian/retarded accent already. How the fuck can you expect someone to understand all of that but then speaking it in Spanish a language the Pilipino girl you keep speaking to obviously does not speak. How do I know this? Well because Einstein, she asks you no less than 4 times every single time you do this to repeat yourself. Holy fucking shit! I know this is a really stupid topic to bring up inside of my blog. But, I’m going to be honest he drives me insane! I feel like I’m going insane right now. Every time I hear his voice or hear movement in his direction I get chills down my spine as if I heard someone kill an infant by strangulation.

The superamazinghandsomecrush is giving me shit right now for writing a blog about this. I think he’s just jealous he didn’t think about it first. He’s not in my office right now or I’d pinch the back of his neck and yell sternly, “That’s a bite!” Just like Ceaser Milan, the dog whisperer. I feel like that is the most efficient way to discipline men, children, dogs, women, and infants. However, not cats. Cats just bite back and that hurts. Their teeth are much pointier than the superamazinghandsomecrushes.

See Diagram:

My BMW is still not out of the shop. It was supposed to be finished yesterday. The body shop told me that the incorrect headlights were sent to them and they would not receive the correct ones until today at 3:00pm. At that time when the parts arrived they could place everything back together because all of the paint has been completed. Personally, I want to know the name and address of the person who fucked up that order and sent them the wrong headlights because I’m ready to choke someone the fuck out. I haven’t had my car the whole month of April. It’s the 20th! It has been 20 long days without my baby! Every time I call to the body shop some lady answers and transfers me to some man who has no idea what I am talking about at all. Then he will tell me I need to talk to Laura. However, every time I call Laura is not available. GIVE ME A BREAK AND GIVE ME MY FUCKING CAR!

Today is Guy’s birthday. It is also Hitler’s birthday. Is this a coincidence? I think not! Both are just as evil and manipulative in my eyes.

I’m probably going to start my period soon. Thus, may be the reason why I am a crazy cunt right now.
I’m going to go listen to the new guy talk about he can make Macros to fill out shit that takes 2 seconds to fill out on your own that doesn’t even have a the ability to have Macros enabled. I’ll also watch Cameron type to me all of her frustrations of this douche bag contesting to every fucking thing that was ever invented on the planet.

Take care of yourselves internets,

p.s. I owe you a long blog entry with tons of updates/good news but I have been too angry without my car and I’ve been having a little bit of bad luck the last few weeks passing. But, I made this picture for my amusement to share with all of you. :D

Those people really need to rethink inserting that photo into their email signature and sending it out.

Needless to say, working with the new guy makes me want to scrape my eyeballs out with rusty spoons. (even with the possibility of tetanus and all.)