How’s everyone doing?
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(pause for all answers)

Let me tell you about my week. Monday: I don’t remember. Tuesday: I was dumped over the phone by Rian while I was at work wiping a virus off of Marty’s computer. Then I went for the shittiest massage I’ve ever had in my life where I was in pain when I left. Shortly after that I drove to Rian’s to get some of my belongings that were at his house. I then carried 8 bags full of my crap to my car with my sore back. I got really angry at Rian. I then hit myself in the face with my bike’s handlebars. (it hurt.) I broke out in a rash from the green shit that the massage therapist put all over my body. Weds: woke up with a really sore jaw and mouth. I couldn’t eat anything because my teeth were very sensitive. Thursday: Again I couldn’t eat anything because my mouth was in pain. However, the pain was even worse than Weds. Friday: even more pain then earlier. No solid food again… except this time my jaw is locked in an open position on and off. Then it’s locked shut and I can’t open it. I go to the dentist and find out…. I am a “grinder.” I was grinding my teeth in my sleep from so much stress on Tuesday. (My Dentists words not mine.) I chipped/cracked two of my teeth and left an exposed nerve. I had the exposed nerve removed. I got fit for a mouth guard. (so sexy.) I had my chips/cracks sealed. I also learned I have TMJ. He wrote me a script for Flexeril and Motrin. Here’s the best part. I then went and got tattooed. It hurt. Then my muscle relaxers kicked in.

Flexeril is like being in Atlantis in Dubai in my mind 24 hours a day 7 days a week. :D

I feel pretty safe saying I’ve had a pretty shitty week. Usually I would be dwelling in my misery on Saturday’s. I’m not though because Flexeril is amazing. I’m so surprised that with my past prescription drug abuse history that I have never used this. It seems to be helping my jaw too. :)

My housekeeper is here right now cleaning my apartment. I’m usually not here when she’s here. However, given the present circumstances I am here. I am also stuck here. (since I can’t drive. ) I feel like the laziest person in the world watching her clean while being stuck in bed. I keep getting up and helping her and she keeps telling me to sit down. (probably because I stumble out of bed.) Oh well. That’s life right? We have our ups and downs. It’s all on how we bounce back from them that matters. Shit…. At least I’ll have a clean house. :D

I need to stop typing because I’m not making any sense.

oh and here is a photo of me going to Nick’s art gallery opening….

Here is a photos of Cam & I at the opening..

Finally here I am next to a photo Nick took of me and put in his gallery…

It was so hot in the gallery that by the time that photo was taken I had thrown my hair in a pony tail and my makeup had melted off… hahaha..

xoxox

I honestly love Zach Galifianakis and Steve Carrell.

Special thanks to Aziz Ansari for posting this. He’s another one of those comedians I love.

Speaking of comedians. . . How fucked up is it that Rainn Wilson (Better known as Dwight from the office.) posted a photo that Mr Jordan Rubin (Better known as one of my favorite comedy writers and comedians/friends that ignore me more often then my cat.) had made/posted…

There is the picture…

so the other day Mr. Dwight Rainn posted it and didn’t give Jor credit. :(

However, he at least redeemed himself with me because he did publicly apologize (after John Mayer called him out via John Mayer blog.. influenced? Who knows.)

I thought that was really cool of him to @ reply Jordan in there. It warmed my dead black heart a little bit.

I know what it’s like to struggle in Hollywood (under different circumstances of course.. I’m not fancy comedian.) and I really feel like Jordan deserved the credit for that. After all it was hilarious! Anyways, I really need to get to work. I thought maybe I’d drop by since I’m never around. Whoops.

Hey Jordan Rubin keep up the good work. We all think you’re awesome and hilarious. (well I can’t really speak for EVERYONE but.. I think you’re awesome and hilarious and since #theworldrevolvesaroundme that’s the only thing that actually matters.)

P.s.

I will now post a photograph of me driving to work because all I do is drive back and forth to work…. (at least its what it feels like.)

xoxox

I know I was talking all about the new guy in my office previously. Considering how much he actually shits up my nerves I might as well continue that conversation now. Here’s the thing… I think he means to be nice. Nevertheless, the problem is he’s so fucking obnoxious and annoying it just cancels it all out. He has to redo everything anyone does because he seems to think he’s the only one who knows how to do anything. The only existing problem with that is he’s a god damn moron so that cancels that out.

The other day he decided to join in on a conversation in the office that no one was even involving him in between Cameron (my homey.) and I. Cam said to me something about her computer not working properly. (That’s probably because no one has put virus protection on the computers and everyone in the damn office downloads stupid bullshit and 100 million toolbars and then I get to fix it later.) I told Cam that I would take a look at it in a minute but I was in the middle of doing sketchy things on the internet related to my job. Asshole decides he is some kind of computer technician and he comes over to Cam’s computer while she’s up in the restroom and opens the task manager. He said…”I can fix this.” I watch him toggle between tabs on the task manager and he stares at the CPU usage. At this point I am just sitting in my desk with my eyes wide open being even more critical than I usually am. (You know that’s bad because I’m kind of a critical cunt. I have high standards for everyone not only myself.)

(As I was typing that last sentence he emerged from his seat to stretch and make annoying noises like those that he always does. I have head phones on right now because if I take them off he will try to talk to me. I cannot have that.)

Anyway, so he closed the task manager and just sat back down and said nothing. I said in a completely condescending manner, “Did you fix it…?” Obviously I knew damn well he didn’t fix anything and he didn’t even know what he was looking at… He responded, “No, I need (something totally random and really not even needed to fix anything here.”

He’s so fucking full of shit. He has to challenge anything that anyone does. He has to be better at everything than anyone is. It’s the most ridiculous and cantankerous behavior I’ve ever laid eyes on.

I believe the most annoying thing he does in the office is when someone calls him in the back on his phone and asks for a code to activate the MLS. He will read the code in Spanish. Seriously, mother fucker? No one understands your polish/Russian/retarded accent already. How the fuck can you expect someone to understand all of that but then speaking it in Spanish a language the Pilipino girl you keep speaking to obviously does not speak. How do I know this? Well because Einstein, she asks you no less than 4 times every single time you do this to repeat yourself. Holy fucking shit! I know this is a really stupid topic to bring up inside of my blog. But, I’m going to be honest he drives me insane! I feel like I’m going insane right now. Every time I hear his voice or hear movement in his direction I get chills down my spine as if I heard someone kill an infant by strangulation.

The superamazinghandsomecrush is giving me shit right now for writing a blog about this. I think he’s just jealous he didn’t think about it first. He’s not in my office right now or I’d pinch the back of his neck and yell sternly, “That’s a bite!” Just like Ceaser Milan, the dog whisperer. I feel like that is the most efficient way to discipline men, children, dogs, women, and infants. However, not cats. Cats just bite back and that hurts. Their teeth are much pointier than the superamazinghandsomecrushes.

See Diagram:

My BMW is still not out of the shop. It was supposed to be finished yesterday. The body shop told me that the incorrect headlights were sent to them and they would not receive the correct ones until today at 3:00pm. At that time when the parts arrived they could place everything back together because all of the paint has been completed. Personally, I want to know the name and address of the person who fucked up that order and sent them the wrong headlights because I’m ready to choke someone the fuck out. I haven’t had my car the whole month of April. It’s the 20th! It has been 20 long days without my baby! Every time I call to the body shop some lady answers and transfers me to some man who has no idea what I am talking about at all. Then he will tell me I need to talk to Laura. However, every time I call Laura is not available. GIVE ME A BREAK AND GIVE ME MY FUCKING CAR!

Today is Guy’s birthday. It is also Hitler’s birthday. Is this a coincidence? I think not! Both are just as evil and manipulative in my eyes.

I’m probably going to start my period soon. Thus, may be the reason why I am a crazy cunt right now.
I’m going to go listen to the new guy talk about he can make Macros to fill out shit that takes 2 seconds to fill out on your own that doesn’t even have a the ability to have Macros enabled. I’ll also watch Cameron type to me all of her frustrations of this douche bag contesting to every fucking thing that was ever invented on the planet.

Take care of yourselves internets,

p.s. I owe you a long blog entry with tons of updates/good news but I have been too angry without my car and I’ve been having a little bit of bad luck the last few weeks passing. But, I made this picture for my amusement to share with all of you. :D

Those people really need to rethink inserting that photo into their email signature and sending it out.

I’ve kind of been M.I.A. lately off living my life. Let me put you up to speed in the antics that have been…
While my old car was on the market listed to be sold… It was stolen. The day I found it I located it by GPS and also by disabling my starter on my old car and driving with my new car to the middle of the hood in Hollywood. On the way home from looking at the damages to my old car… my new car….
I bought a BMW remember? My first real car? I mean like a luxury vehicle? It’s amazing…

Or was I should say because about 2 weeks before I made my first payment… some 18 year old smashed his fucking retarded Toyota Matrix into my BMW because he wasn’t aware of the laws set fourth regarding YIELDING TO ONCOMING TRAFFIC.

Right there at 3rd St & Highland this dummy just failed to yield while attempting to turn. Do you have any idea what it feels like to have your 2 week old BMW’s front end scraped off by a Toyota that drove away fine from the collision? It fucking sucks. It sucks a lot. Nevertheless that’s life, you know? The show will always go on whether you choose to or not.

The day after my accident I went to Las Vegas with the superamazinghandsomecrush. I had a good time with him. I feel confident/bratty enough to answer for him and say he had a good time, also, because I do what I want.

I saw Aidan’s brother and sister in Las Vegas, too!

They were just as sleepy as I was the whole time too.

Thesuperamazinghandsomecrush asked me not to post pictures of him on here… (I think that’s because he doesn’t want all of your to see how amazingly hot he is and get like really sad about how you’ll never look like him. But, I told him all of my readers were really nice. Oh, well.)
So, on that note I have for you a picture of me that I took for my superamazinghandsomecrush….

Woo Hoo… The sun in Vegas gave me a sweet chemical burn on my face. It was sweet. Thank God it’s gone now!

So, while my beautiful car is in the shop I have a rental. I have a Prius for a rental. I hate this stupid Prius. It has a shitty sound system. It’s slow as shit. It’s like a really slow spaceship with awesome gas mileage. What the fuck is up with that? I have been bitching about it for over a week on Twitter. Every time I get in it I think…”This thing smells like a compost pile.” wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Seriously, I need to get back to work… But I obviously took a picture of myself this morning so I will post it….

Love you guys I can’t wait to go to sleep.

(Oh… I tried “The Bacon Donut” yesterday at breakfast… I hate to say this… but I really was NOT a fan… But my breakfast was absolutely fabulous!)

(P.S.S. Superamazinghandsomecrush and I spotted some Banksy in Hollywood last night… he took an amazing picture of it….)

OKAY NOW I’M DONE!

xoxox

I’ve been meaning to make some changes around here… Especially with my life. . .

So, I changed my Twitter user name today to Charlie Sheena… Which, by the way, is my real nick name given to me by my friend Jimi of Alumni NYC. Why? Well, because my real name is Sheena. (GASP! DID I JUST DO THAT? I FEEL NAKED!) Well, let’s face it… Charlie Sheena just all kinds of fits me… So, I figured… If I let my good friends call me Charlie or Charlie Sheena… Why is it that I can’t let you? I can! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. YAY! BEST FRIENDS!

Anyways…. LETS TALK… The Italian Job is on right now… I swear I get such a huge non existent boner every time I see Charlize Theron drive that Mini like a bat out of hell. Not because of how hot she is… more or less because I wish that was ME driving that Mini like a bat out of hell.

Let me give you an example:

Ahhhh…. Heaven.

So, I was going to go off on some rant about how people are fucking dumb. But, I’d rather post pictures of me and things I imagine! Amazing, right? Oh, you don’t like it? Oh, I don’t care.

Love you!!! :)

xoxox

Charlie Sheena

wow that was weird I’m so used to typing Charlie Sheena ….